Karen's Blog

2010-06-28T12:13:00.005-07:00

"Forgive them, for they know not what they do."
Luke 23:34

Many healers I am in contact with are telling me that when they journey on behalf of the Gulf, and connect with different elements there, they are experiencing something they were not expecting. One woman, an amazing practitioner, said that she encountered a large bird that was unrecognizable for the amount of oil and sludge coating its feathers and body. in her journey, she embraced the bird and apologized for her part in causing this bird's agony and suffering.

She said that the bird also embraced her as well and spoke these words to her - "In the end, it is all right. See, I am light also."

What humans are experiencing is a completely non-judgmental, seemingly compassionate response from the creatures they are working so hard to save.

When Jesus asked that those who were causing so much suffering be forgiven, there were those at the cross who were bidding on the garment that was taken from him. He saw and knew the significance of events that were transpiring and the blindness of those to see clearly.

Even as the garment of the Gulf, that pristine beauty and bounty, was bid upon and exploited by the highest bidders, she understood that we simply did not grasp the extent of what our collective actions would ultimately do. And yet there is that compassionate response. "I bleed, yet forgive"

And amidst the travail of the cross, we can hear the words of hope spoken quietly and compassionately, "See, I make all things new."

text copyright 2010 by Karen Furr
Image: Bird in oil: http://skyrider.biz/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/exxonvaldez-disaster.jpg

2010-06-20T09:41:00.004-07:00

Surely He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows! He was wounded for our transgressions; He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon Him.

Isaiah 53: 4,5

Holding vigil brings about insights that many times we miss in the daily business of life. Neil Diamond wrote once :"Dear Father, we dream, while we wait". In the last post, I mentioned the idea that we are waiting at the foot of the cross. During this time, while so many politicians and interests debate who to blame and who to look for to do the miraculous, there are those also who wait, and dream.

Our contemplations draw us into the Passion of the Gulf. We look out over the crucified and come to realize that surely, it has borne the grief of our separation and carried the sorrows of our longing for connection. And we are coming to understand at that intimate level the reality that we are not separate, except in our perceptions. And our eyes are opened. We see clearly that on the cross is the divine, and our hands have joined together in bringing about what we witness.

It is a time of rawness. And we must walk through it even if we do not hold any hope. We must be where we are, and allow the experience to teach us in all levels of our being. That is the nature of wake up calls and hitting bottom. It leaves us as crucified as the one we have crucified. And in that place, we understand our connection. In the pain and stripping away of all that we thought we are, we are laid bare upon the sands of our lives, and it is there that the re-membering can begin to come about.

copyright 2010 by Karen Furr
Photo copyright by media.gulflive.com

2010-06-17T09:57:00.003-07:00

(Reminder: The principles I an sharing are universal, although I relate them within the particular framework of Christian terminology. So please relate the information to the spiritual path you are on, and let me know the similarities. Thanks)

Isaiah 53:6
We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his or her own way...

That quote popped into my mind this morning, early before the sunrise. The passage goes on to say that iniquity has been laid upon us as a result. I have for a long time regarded that message as saying we are not necessarily "bad", but that somewhere along the line, we saw ourselves as separate from the rest of creation. I haven't done the blame and shame thing in quite some time, and I can't in consciousness attribute that tendency to the Divine Source.

But...
What if we weren't separate at all?
What if that same divinity that lives within us was also living within all creation?

What Isaiah was inviting me to do this morning is realize that we are standing at the metaphorical foot of the cross. Holding vigil and witnessing the agony and death of one (among many) who has intiated us into Christ Consciousness.

In that event 2000 years ago, there were those who were in power and power struggles looking to scapegoat anyone to maintain their power base. There were also those who were unconcerned about the events of that day that would mold centuries of human thought and direction. I imagine a lot of people didn't even know or care what was going on in the City that day. And there were those folks who had had personal experiences with the man on the cross, and were there waiting.

When I looked out over the Gulf in my journey, I saw Christ. And since then have been contemplating that vision.

There is no separation.
Christ on the Cross is the man in Jerusalem.
Christ on the Cross are the people losing their way of life in an instant.
Christ on the Cross is the turtle struggling for the breath of life through the wall of oil.
Christ on the Cross is the oil itself gushing from the floor of the ocean
Christ on the Cross is the entire Gulf region - and subsequently, the whole planet.

And we wait - with the many different thoughts and emotions that we all are experiencing right now.

The difference is that now we know there is always ressurrection and new life. It is our hope. It is the bigger picture that gives us the strength to hold the space now with compassion and understanding.

And we understand that the major factor in all crucifixions is our continued belief that we are separate.

Blessings,
Karen

All blog posts are copyright 2010 by Karen Furr

Journey

2010-06-16T16:16:00.005-07:00

In a group I am in, we were asked to journey to the Gulf with the intention of saying what we felt we needed to say, and listening to what the Gulf wanted to share with us. This is a copy of what I wrote to that group...
---
Masaro Emoto wrote recently that his response to the crisis was to speak to the water these words: "I am sorry, Please forgive me, I love you, Thank you"

When I journeyed to the Gulf, I felt I was witnessing and experiencing a holocaust of the species. I have been doing a lot of journey work to the gulf, seeing and experiencing the region in its pristine beauty and divinity. As I looked out at what I was witnessing, what I "heard" was the experience of redemptive suffering. I saw the oil and the consequences as a form of crucifixion that is leading to a resurrection of consciousness. It was a very poignant awareness of "Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us". I experienced this as a prayer of gratitude. That what is being "taken away" is my perception of "disconnection".

So, as I was there, Mr. Emoto's words came to mind and I expressed them:

I am sorry,
please forgive me,
I love you,
Thank you.

Blessings,
Karen

All blog posts are copyright 2010 by Karen Furr.

Is It June Already?

2010-06-15T13:39:00.002-07:00

I cannot tell you how many times I have sat down to the computer and thought about updating this blog. These past few months have been busy, and that is not teh best excuse out there.

So I am committing to writing more here.

Sunday, I did a shamanic journey to the Gulf of Mexico. In the journey, I received a deep understanding of the spiritual concept of redemptive suffering. I will be writing about that and other topics, sharing wisdom I have received from others, and generally honing my ability to get what is in my heart out onto "paper".

Please share your thoughts with me. I am interested in what you have to say.

Thanks and blessings,
Karen

2010-04-04T10:28:00.002-07:00

April 4th 2010

Have you ever awakened feeling that at some significant level you have been renewed? Something during a long night has shifted and you feel spiritually refreshed, once again alive? Have you then reflected and realized that the awareness of your woundedness and hurt are still there, but that it no long has any power over you and that you are thriving and filled with joy?

Blessings to all of you in that celebration of life and renewal! May this day bring that deep contentment of knowing you are loved, and that you are essentially whole and divine. As you come out of that tomb into the light of a radiant day, recognize your new self and be at peace with the knowing that you are pure light after all.

To all you followers of the Cosmic Christ, blessings on this day of remembrance and resurrection. To those of other walks, blessings also on this day. We are all one and there is really no separation. So each of us, as we celebrate this time of year in our various ways, are given the same gift of life and wondrous mystery. May we be that for one another today.

Blessings and Light,
Karen

2009-12-25T09:22:00.001-07:00

In the desert where I live, it is a bit colder than usual for this time of year.
The snow has come and has gone,
robing the Mountain in majestic white.

I was not going to write something to send out this year,
but as Mr. Lennon once said,
Life is what happens
when you are busy making other plans...

He also once suggested that we give Peace a chance,
and encouraged us to see and vision
- to imagine -
a world in which all of us could experience true oneness,
happiness and joy.

Today, I beheld that wonderful diversity of the place where I live

And remembered.......

This is the one season of the year
in which so many diverse peoples
in so many parts of the planet
celebrate
in the many wonderful ways
the coming and returning of Light.

In this time of year,
all of the holidays,
no matter what their origin,
or who borrowed what,
represent the global gathering of souls,
past and present,
who found reason to be especially aware
of the giftedness of life.
It is truly a magnificent celebration of life itself.

I celebrate with all of you,
in the many ways this time
and our many beliefs
call for us to celebrate,
and truly,
from my heart,
wish you wonder,
love,
gratitude,
appreciation,
joy and peace
during this time of remembering
our unity and oneness.

To all the Web of Life,
I greet you as Sister and Kin.

Blessings,
Karen

2009-11-27T11:41:00.003-07:00

A Thanksgiving Greeting

My life this time around has spanned almost 60 years.
That will seen like so few years to some,
To others, I am old.
And in reflecting upon those years,
I can truly and honestly say -

My hear is filled with gratitude
for the blessings
The challenges
The many ups and downs,
ins and outs,
The beauty and richness
of the way of my spirit
and for what I have contributed
to others, my communities and the planet -
in both challenge and blessing

Today, I will stand by the Ocean
and seek Her stillness,
Knowing that the unending waves
are but the expression of her own gift of life, passion
and great Mystery.

Blessings to you today.
May this time be the reminder
that we are more than what the day will offer us.
And enjoying the time with friends, families, co-workers
and others who are part of our journey in this life,
we all can find that stillness of deep gratitude
that moves our lives closer
to the expression and reality
of who we truly are.

Happy and blessed Thanksgiving
Karen

A Little Reminder

2009-05-02T09:48:00.005-07:00

You know, there are time when we just need to hear something positive. So here goes:

Today, I am in Santa Fe, NM. Sitting in Starbucks, checking e-mail, doing some internet work, and enjoying a Vente Chai. "Ad Gurey Name" is playing on iTunes, and the sun is shining through the windows. Folks are gathered for a Saturday morning sip of java, or that ever-tempting blueberry muffin...

And I am reminded, looking around the place, just how precious we all are. Each of us. In our diversity, our laughter, and even our venting (going on at the table next to mine).

Always remember, we are Light! We are brilliant and radiant Presence. And we do make a difference, no matter what our situations may be. I know this to be true, and I reverence each one of you, as sacred, beautiful, and wondrous Being.

I am continually amazed at the capacity of the human spirit, and the capacity of Earth to bring through her divine compassion through the simplest of gestures. It is a blessing to be present to this sacred event - the awakening of heart. And I wish for each one who reads this a day of marvelous enjoyment of simply being alive in these miraculous times.

You are miracle - creation steeped in the deep wisdom of our species, breaking through the trance into a bright and radiant awareness of Love personified. It is Who we are - our Destiny - to be that very Awareness.

Take heart in the struggles of the day. It is only for a passing time. Look to the Light that is within, and celebrate your True Self. Take time to remember your divinity, and share that divine impulse with all that is in your sphere. You shine. With a beauty that dazzles and awakens.

You who have lost someone today, be at peace in the awareness that this passing is both release and blessing.

You who struggle with addiction, know that the learning you have gained will bless not only your own life, but that of others as well. Stay in the moment, and let the hurt wash from you like Rain on the Mountainside.

You who wonder at the decision before you, take heart. Your choice that you ponder is the right one for you at this time. You are learning to trust yourself again, and yours is the blessings of knowing your self.

Blessings to you - each one you are very special, and each one inseparable from the One.

Love is the Heart and Soul of Who We Are
Compassion is that unifying energy that reminds us of this reality.
Peace is that state of inner stillness amidst the turmoil
Joy is that wonder we all have.

Nurture who you are today!

Blessings and love,
Karen

Resurrection and Beyond

2009-04-12T07:47:00.004-07:00

There is a saying:

"The sun always rises"
and we know this to be true,
but our knowledge is based in
the experience of seeing a sunrise -
Experiencing it each day
since our kind came into being.

We have attributed it to many beliefs:
The loving compassion of a higher Source,
Science and astronomy,
Magic
or many we have simply taken it for granted.
But yes, it does return.

The ancient Egyptians believed that each evening,
the depleted Ra entered into a journey
of death and resurrection.
During this twelve hour quest,
Ra was subjected to numerous challenges.
This nightly journey cleaned and renewed
So that once again,
Ra emerged whole and vibrant,
radiant in the new dawn.

In the Jesus way, the journey was one of
recognizing Source from within.
"I am the way, truth, and life"
It was not an arrogant boast,
but the simple recognition of his True Self.

May this Resurrection Day
bring us also into this awareness
of our True Selves.
We pass through the realms
cleansing and renewal
and emerge once again filled with life -
brilliant and radiant.

As you are Light,
so let your light shine!

Blessings,
Karen

Between Death and Resurrection

2009-04-11T16:59:00.002-07:00

This is Holy Saturday.
Jesus' followers acknowledge this time
as the waiting time
between his death and resurrection,
in the Tomb.

It calls us to reflect upon those times in our own lives
where we have died to something,
with the belief that we would rise again.
But the resurrection has not yet happened,
and we are left in that place of dark and quiet stillness.
It is in such a tomb
where we are faced with our inner selves -
and a time when we have the opportunity
to let fall away that which hold us back,
or holds us entrapped.

And we wait for the morning of light and freedom -
a rolling away of the stone, so to speak.

It is a wondrous time.
Alone in the dark stillness.
That place of potential - of new life waiting to come forth.
It is a seed time -
where what once was is transformed.
A time where what will be
is germinated and nurtured by that very stillness.

For those of you who celebrate this Mystery,
may this day be one of reflective listening
to the inmost stirring of your heart.
And for those who celebrate this time in other ways,
may it hold the blessings each tradition knows it to be.
Whatever your Path,
it is a holy and sacred time,
and it marks the passing
into new life.

Blessings
Karen

Old Souls

2008-10-09T10:43:00.004-07:00

People with many interests who find it burdensome to sit in one place too long - these are the souls who are dreaming of home. Always with the thought that there is more, these beings have lived many many lives. There is nothing "new" for them - more a re-acquaintance. There is a look in their eyes that shows a deeper understanding of "what is", and they are easy to engage in spiritual discussion, for that is their true interest.

They are not necessarily in the spotlight, though some find themselves there not by their own desire, but in response to their life path. It is more common to find them living simpler lives. They have been on the stages before, perhaps for seveal lifetimes, and that focus no longer interests the. If they find themselves in the, these are the ones who will not be enamored and dazzled by what the spotlight brings. They prefer to simply observe what is going on around them, contributing and finding meaning, making a subtler difference but no longer feeling that they have to be the ones to change the world. At some point they come to the realization - they did that already.

The old souls are among us, as we are healed and nurtured in their presence, and in their being in our midst.

Sometimes it is disconcerting that they can seem so detached. They can appear so uninvolved at times, and it challenges the patience of others around them. This does not mean hey are without passion. Old souls are some of the most passionate beings on the planet. It is simply that their passion runs very deep and in that depth, the current i much slower. They are far more focused at hat level, though many tims they themselves are not aware of it.

The eyes and heart of older souls see a picture more vast. They do not have to work at it, it simply is the way they see. Experiencing for them involves using more than just the physical senses. It is more about recognizing the wholeness of the experience, not just the fragments. And this awareness and understanding brings for them a profound sense of humility and gratitude

Old souls want to go home. They understand thi physical life is but a moment in their very long incarnational existence, and this world of physicality is not their true home. They feel an attitude of stewardship, but ultimately it is just that, stewardship.

An they know that, although they refer to this and that, there is only this. They feel in their being that there is no separation in what is interior and what is exterior, and that these distinctions are only contrived. There is an acceptance about this awareness that enables sincere and genuine tolerance and acceptance of others. There is no longer the need to struggle for their thoughts and impressions to be heard by others. They know in their heart that ultimately all is brought into that awareness of oneness, and that is sufficient.

Old souls love life, but also love death. They are fuly engaged in physical life, but with the awareness of the death process. And they are not afraid of death. It is that threshold to home. One which they have walked through so many times before. They know what is there. There is no doubt, no hesitation, and no resistance. Many times, this is interpreted by others as a death wish, or a lack of a desire to live. For the old soul, it is simply the knowledge and understanding that there is really no death, and that what we see as an ending is simply a continuation. It does not bother an old soul when someone dies. They will feel the sadness of their loss, but they also understand that it is their loss that is saddening, not the passing of another. They will feel quietly the joy of the door opening, and will experience that touch of longing for home that death's reminder brings about. Old souls know how to be incarnate, and they have learned over and over what it is to be in physical form. They do not have the same stringent need to be imbodied as a learning experience and will oftentimes allow themselves to drift a bit. That far-away look sometimes is misleading. They are very much present, but "present" for them is not the same. Their sphere of being is much broader, and encompasses far more than just the physical plane.

Old souls incarnate for resolution, that sense of completion, of finally being full circle. There is a peacefulness and a wonder in old souls that reminds us all of the infinite beauty of lives lived.

2008-07-29T08:22:00.003-07:00

So... how's your writing coming...?

A friend asked me that just the other day. I was embarrassed to admit I was having a lot of difficulty getting it started, although I have accumulated quite a few pages of material.

The person asking me that question is a published author, having written several books herself. She affirmed for me that getting a book started is one of the harder tasks in writing.

So, I came home re-committed to writing the book that, a year ago, I was convinced would be published by now. Still don't have the first line down, but I have decided to not let that be an issue.

I was told once (by the same person) that I needed to get the passion I have onto the page. That is the hardest part. Give me with a cup of tea and just mention the topics that interest me, and I can talk and share for days on end. Sit me down at a keyboard, and it is a whole different outcome.

Recording my workshops is an option. Tried that on several occasions. Problem is, I forget to turn the darned voice recorder on. That, I can work on.

And there's the blog that I can use as a springboard, which is what this post is about. I really want to write, and folks tell me I have something to say. So, as I said earlier, I am re-committing to the task, and with prayers and blessings, can work out a pretty decent book.

Whew.....

Tender Love

2007-12-24T09:39:00.001-07:00

If you knew of the love that is held for you, and that there is nothing that you do, think, see, hear, feel that is not held in that compassionate embrace... You are loved with a love that you cannot even comprehend, and still you are loved.

Do not be too attentive to the things that you see around you. This is not your home. You reside in the infinite, and it is in that embrace that you are at home. When you seek the comforts of your perception, you are missing out on this awareness, yet it is still there, deep within you, and it will be brought to the surface in the way that you are turning.

When the fire is the hottest, never forget that it is but fire, and has no claim on you, and therefore cannot harm you at your most significant. This is what will move you from the place where you are to that experience of oneness that you so seek.

We have heard your cry, and our answer is tender love. You need nothing else, for that is what you are.

2007-12-05T16:41:00.001-07:00

Will you tell more about how people can find the hope they need?

That is simple. Look within. You see, your kind is used to finding answers outside of themselves, when all the while, the answers they are seeking are already there. It is simple, but it is that your kind is not used to believing in the information that comes from within yourself.

You know this. All of your kind knows this. And they will recall that knowledge, and that will bring the hope they crave. You see, it is not difficult. It is not impossible. But it does mean to re-focus and re-look at the direction of your gaze and inquiry.

Your kind is on the brink of either coming to terms with your own nature, or falling into the sea to be washed away as so many others had before you arrived. It is not difficult, so you don’t have to make it so. Relax, and be aware that you are not the center of everything that you know. You are not the center.

See? That takes the burden off right away doesn’t it... Now you can relax into simply being and enjoying your being. You don’t have to go outside to fix it. Just be who you are. All that you need is within you. All that you want to know, it is there. But your task is to go within and see it - live it. It is not a hard task, because you know that when you take that step inward, what you will find is what you have wanted to find.

Be at peace. The changes you are seeing around you are just that - changes. It is inevitable that change occurs, but you need not fear it. Everything around you is changing because you yourself are changing.

2007-11-10T11:23:00.000-07:00

On the rocks and lava – see how things grow.

They are not stunted or weak.

There is robustness.

They find a foothold in the destruction of the land and grow strong, feeding from the earth-source – the nutrients in even what would appear lifeless. And in turn, they put back what is needed for further and future growth.

Take heart: What appears destroyed is but the rich soil of newness germinating and budding. Look for the signs around you and take heart.

2007-11-10T11:16:00.001-07:00

See what slowing down will do?

Patience- you see the rock that cooled slowly – yet very quickly as earth measures her physical time - quick enough that no crystals formed – just the solid lava that you see.

I watched, and saw the distant ridge taken down in an instant. I felt the fall of thousands of giants, the rumble of their wanton destruction,

I myself have been cleaved and am but a part of what I was. The rest hauled off for some other rampart. My gleaming stone aged and discolored. My shine diminished.

Yet beneath this surface that you see, I gleam still. It is the nature of shining – One cannot see it until it is stripped of the outer stuff. But once wounded in such a way, the shine is brilliant and beautiful – clean and clear.

2007-11-09T11:39:00.000-07:00

Watch the birds flying and lighting on the bushes and grasses of the places around you. Do you ever notice how they are constantly looking around them? You think it is because they are wary of being eaten and hurt. But it is not as much that as they just like to sit and look. They are air creatures and it is nice for them to just sit on something and see the world from the vantage point that we see the world.

Of course you will also notice that some birds are so unused to seeing from the earth plane that they still perch high in the tree tops and come down only if need requires. But they do like to sit and watch.

So be a bird-student. Perch in your bush and take time to watch what is around you. Enjoy the vantage point and see what you can see. If your vantage point is high in the treetops, then find a place that gives you that perspective. If lighting on the grasses brings you joy, then do that.

The important thing is to just let yourself have the time to look around and see. Enjoy the bounty and beauty of your surroundings.

Go. Find your branch and be there.

Seat of the Heart

2007-11-07T15:53:00.000-07:00

There is a home that is within all things. It sits silently and patiently, waiting to be recognized, but never putting itself forward. This home is the seat of the heart. That place of ultimate love – ultimate compassion – where there is no distinction between soul and source. Come home for a while. Sit in wonder and awareness. Rest in that tender and loving knowing. It is there waiting for you.

There is much activity in what is around you and sometimes it seems that the activity is the most important thing. You are taught that, and you have learned it well. But see the beauty around you –this is no accident. It has been called into being and now you see it with not only your eyes, but also with your heart and soul. As pleasing to the spirit as it is, there is yet more. And you are just beginning to know it.

Enjoy the walk, for the path is a wondrous one and you will see many things familiar and unfamiliar to you. At the end of the day, it will all be familiar, and you will know that you have known for many lifetimes. Do that which pleases you and know that it also pleases the source. You and it are one.

Conversation with a Land Spirit

2007-10-17T12:22:00.000-07:00

"I live in the rise beyond the trees. I watch and see all that is around, and I see you."

Tell me something of hope for those who will read this.

"Tell of hope. I see my rocks laid bare as the softer stuff is blown away or washed away with wind and water. The life that clings to my surface clings with a robustness that allows it to flourish and grow strong roots that intertwine among my covered stone. You see some dead trees and waterless hillside, and I hold life itself. What you see and know is only a fleeting moment. Look beyond the moment and see the whole.

What you see is simply a moment in time. This was not always so, but has been carved and shaped and continues to be so changed. The hope is not in the appearance as it is, but in the trust that the process continues. It does continue, you know, and what seems apparent now, it is but a "now" and not the whole.

The process goes on in the way it has for more than you can remember in your form. You were here when it began, and you will be here also as it continues. As this changes, so you change also. But you still remain.

Hope is given. It is in your cells. It is integral to your constitution and governance of soul. You cannot depart from hope for you are never separate from it. You must remember this, because it is all too easy to think otherwise. But remember, you are more, and hope is not something you seek or find, it is simply there within your very being.

When you are who you are, it will be visible to you and to whatever is around you. Remember, it is not just your kind that this applies to, but all life, all spirit.

Remember this.

Remember."

Seeding the Heart

2007-08-13T07:03:00.000-07:00

It seems that time is changing. Not only in a "global warming" way, but also in how we experience time itself. You can see it in the aging trees. Check the newer rings. There is much change going on. In our lifetime there will be the opportunity to learn that there is no separation between what we can see with our eyes and what we can see with our hearts. It is all there. Many already have this awareness within their bodies and minds but it seems the clouds gather over the mountain of the soul and it is not easy to see the sun through such a canopy.

Removing the canopy – letting the winds of awareness bring the sun’s rays – that is the task much needed. Just as the light of the sun hitting the planet is lessening in these times, so the light illuminating the soul of people, plants and animals – the planet itself.

We sense this and know it is time to take a look at how to bring that light back.

The heart is the entry-way into consciousness – not the mind, like so many currently think. It is that entry-way into each creature, each cell, that holds the balance. Look to the heart. Humankind knew this once. But when we turned away from that heart-center and sought the center of the mind, we lost our way. We held the memory of the heart-center in the mysticism of our holy people and saints. We revered the heart, but kept the mind superior. See how far away from awareness it has led?

Now it is time to re-seed the heart. Watch what happens. All things do this. Not just humans, all things. You will find that you cannot give words to heart, only describe how it feels like. Words do not matter in awakening of consciousness. You are reading words, but you know that when you stop reading you will come to a point of no-word. No-thought. Simply a state of knowing and being – knowing the connection and being that connection.

Blessings!

2007-08-13T06:33:00.000-07:00

Transitions

2007-06-30T07:41:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, I received a letter from Rome saying that I was no longer a sister. This was the culmination of the struggle trying to stay true to my Path as a catholic sister and healing practitioner. It was made clear to me that the time had come to realize I did not fit within the structures as they are in religious life today. This process also led me to contemplate the nature of patriarchy and the emerging paradigm in which patriarcy seems such a relic of a worldview that is no longer in sync with the vibrations of the earth.

I love my sisters, and I consider myself still a sister to them, but without the "membership". It is the structure itself that I have learned is detrimental. Partriarchy imposed on women kills the spirit to a degree that I had not know could be. It robs us of our divine creativity and teaches us to defer to men and give to the masculine our power.

At Home Depot yesterday, I was getting some molding for a project I am working on and watched a woman about my age sawing a length of baseboard. She was doing fine until a man walked over and asked how she was doing. She immediately became clumsy and could not get the saw to cut smoothly. The man took over and she immediately gave up her effort and stepped aside.

A simple interaction, but it spoke volumes to me.

Good Reading

2007-01-09T07:30:00.000-07:00

I am reading "The Dance of the Dissident Daughter" by Sue Monk Kidd (She also wrote "The Secret Life of Bees". The book was loaned to me by a member of our drumming circle, and the timing could not have been more perfect.

For anyone out there is in the midst of tremendous life changes, you may be interested in reading this one. It has certainly helped me understand why I see things the way I do.

Kudos to Sue Monk Kidd!

Seaside...

2006-12-15T12:17:00.000-07:00

They have crashed upon the shore,
no two waves alike,
for millions of years.

One brief, endless moment to stand on the shore
and absorb all the wonder of that singular event -
knowing full well -
it is forever.

And in an instant, gone...

Thought for Today...

2006-12-09T13:17:00.000-07:00

"Theology is not authenticated by conformity to the past, but by relevance to the present."

Rev. Raymond A Parr

"Into Nature" One heck of a retreat...

2006-12-04T14:51:00.000-07:00

This past week, I went out to Lake Mead for a retreat, getting into nature to let Earth speak to me in the gentle ways she has of teaching... What I actually encountered was a wind storm and possibly the most precarious situation in which I have ever been in the many times I have been "out and about"...

Following are excerpts from the journal I kept. It was an extraordianry time. I am still getting over it and find that I am not completly over the ordeal. I ahve always been sensitive to wind, and of all the elements, it is Wind that affects me the most in ways that are both exhausting and exhilirating.

There is only one portion of the entries that I have chosen to not share, as it involves writing a letter to someone and I simply don't think folks need to read it. Within the entries, I have made some comentary in parentheses to explain the entry more. My hope is that in making this journey available to you, that you can gain something from it that will touch your inner heart and that can be a learning or healing for you.

Blessings, Karen

I wanted to take a week and go out into nature to "listen" and possibly work at discerning my next steps in the process I am in that involves my separating from the religious order I have been a part of for the past 27 years. I had not anticipated that Spirit had a different agenda laid out for me...

Day 1
I drove to South Cove (Upper end of Lake Mead) - really windy (Gale warning flags were posted) and no one there at all. No cars in the parking lot. The lake is very low. Drove to Pierce Ferry - could see the Colorado River.- where once (4 years ago?) Water formed a large lake area - I could see what the lake bottom looked like because it was dry ground. There was an Airstream RV parked in the camping area behind a low hill. It didn’t look like anyone was there. (I was thinking about possibly camping there for the week) Something didn’t feel right so I left.

Drove to west side of Mohave Lake. (There is a dirt road that winds down to the lake.) I’ll stay put tonight, as the sun is low.. And the wind is still pretty fierce. Tomorrow, if the lake is ok for a canoe, I’ll head out and find a little cove and set up camp for the remainder of my time out. The place I am camping tonight is a long beach and in the summer, I think it is used a lot. I couldn’t believe the trash. Yikes. Bits and pieces of stuff everywhere. When I looked for firewood I sang a healing song to the land. Two ducks flew in and paddled around a bit. Was nice to see. I also am graced with a pair of ravens. The clouds are beautiful.

Day 2
(Last night) Got the tent pitched in incredible wind. Like pitching a sail. In the evening, had a pair of coyotes for guests. They came from opposite directions and met about 50 yards from me. An interesting meeting. They both "nosed" each other and then went on their way. One sat about 30 yards away and watched me for a bit - then moseyed on. I woke up to noise outside the tent. Then it was at the truck. I opened my tent door and flashed the flashlight and picked up 3 pairs of eyes. They were racoons. They were also (probably) annoyed because I had locked up the truck and the food was in the truck. Another critter later on nosed around the tent a bit.

(The water was calmer in the morning - Tuesday - so I decided to head out in the canoe to find a nice quiet camping location...)

Today, I found a nice spot. The wind was but a breeze and canoeing was nice. I got the camp set up then bathed and washed my hair. Found plenty of firewood so if the wind permits, I will feed Brother Fire tonight and do some drumming.

It’s warm enough for a teeshirt until that wind kicks up. Then’s it’s cool enough for a light jacket.
Half moon - waxing. Newness - beginning. How many beginnings does one have in a lifetime. Every moment is now - un-countable - eternal present. There are no "beginnings" - simply the ever-renewing "now". The patterns on the water - one instant - never to be the same again. So blue. So very alien to the surrounding landscape. I want it to be evening so I can build a fire. Sun is taking its time.

The clouds that occupied much of the sky today are almost gone - blue above - deeper blue below.

I think it is a racoon. It’s sometime in the middle of the night. Windy as all get out! And one of the furry ones was trying to get into my food box. Good thing for the large, heavy rock I put on it. So I flashed the flashlight and barked like a dog at it.

Wonder what they usually eat... Wide awake. Also wonder how long the wind will last. The tent is very secure. Saw a shooting star. Woot! I love the surround-sound quality to wind in this area. Right channel - waves, water sound. Left channel, wind through rocks, mountains. Center - tent flapping. And all around - wind singing her robust song.

—> on a side note, women are at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to peeing in a windstorm...

Day 3 (Wednesday)

After I fussed at the racoon last night, I felt a bit guilty. Here, we humans have decimated natural habitat globally, forcing other species to try to make a living on a fraction of what they used to have - and then expect them to forage elsewhere while a box of goodies is there for the taking. I decided to not fuss again, if Rocky came back and if he could get into the box, I would share what I have. Most of what I brought is in cans - for that very reason - and the only thing he could have gotten to is some tea, wheat thins, and individual cups of apple sauce. Sure enough, he came back.

This morning, doing the peeing in the wind ritual and checking the tent stakes. I got some food - will be in the tent today.

Rocky managed to get one baggie of wheat thins. That was it. Bless his or her heart.

The wind is fierce - the lake looks like an ocean. Waves are actually crashing against the rocks. Reminds me of Asilomar beach. If I hadn’t pulled the canoe further onto land last night, I would have lost it. I pulled it up some more. Otherwise, everything is staying put, including the tent. Sand is hitting the side. I can open the tent flap about 6 inches - giving me a beautiful view. I am convinced Wind loves to show off at times.

When Wind wants in, it will knock on all the doors, and try all the windows. It is good to let a little in.

The air is cold. I wonder 2 things - how hard the wind is blowing and what the temperature is. Both measurable things. Like time. At least the sky is clear and the sun is warming the tent so if I have the tent door closed, it is warm in here. I need to organize it for day use and not for sleeping today.

What lessons does Wind share? It goes where it wills to go. Sings softly for the most part, but can really belt one out when he wants to. Loves to play across open waters. Surfs. Is an artist with sand and rock. Is relentless. Dances with the raven - slow dance. Is ignored by ants. Trees get their leaves and branches blown clean of the fine sand. Humans stay inside.

As much as I would like a calm warm day, I am quite content. Con-tent. With tent - with shelter - home.

Nap-time.

Afternoon..
Wind wind wind and more wind. Got a good nap in though. 2 actually. Also re-reading Medicine for the Earth.

I want so much to be spiritually connected in the way MFTE describes. I want to be able to be hollow bone for the helping spirits to use for the healing of others, and the planet (Then I heard a voice...)

"You can, you know."
How? It is so strong.
"Take up your drum and sing the song I will give you. "
My feet are cold.
"Stand in the sun for warmth always."
Can’t I just do it from in here?
"No."
Why not?
"Because you must be in the wind in order to communicate with it."
Tell me more.
"You must merge with what you seek to influence. Fully engage. Become that. Incarnate into that which which you would want to change. - if you truly want it changed. Is the wind really bothering you? Is that the reason to change it? Or are you simply uncomfortable with the wind being himself? "
I have sat in this tent all day.
"OK"
I have only had a little apple sauce and wheat thins.
"You are starving?"
Cold yes. Starving no.
"You are still writing so you are not frozen yet."
I am not freezing, just cold. I wanted warm, calm days on the lake. And now I have wind.
"Your brother."
Yes my brother.
"Your teacher."
Well, ok. My teacher.
"Wind is just being wind. Can you accept that?"
Yes, I can accept it.
"Even though you choose the safety of your shelter?"
Even so.
"Wind does not dislike you, you know. Wind is not personal that way. He celebrates the changing of the seasons and the waxing of the moon. That is all. Can you celebrate with him?"
Yes, actually, I can.

"There’s more."
OK
"Holding onto your perception of how it should be is not what you are here to do. Let go. Let go of your fear and need to control the outcome. Your path will lead many places. It has already. Be that flexible person your heart calls you to be. New things are opening to you. But you will not see them if you stay safe.

Do not fear the east. You will be close there. Close to the ones you love and know. People will come to you and your door will be a haven to many. Go where I lead you - go where no one wants to go. And trust that your heart’s desire is opening to you. See, I bring you good news. Good indeed."

Sunset - I ventured out - drummed the sunset and wind. Secured the canoe and got some more apple sauce AND Green and Black’s almond chocolate bar. I be dining tonight. Wind is still blowing strong.

All day long! I want to find out if indeed this was the strongest wind in AZ history.

I am totally impressed by the tent. Stakes are all good so I’m snug for the night. If Rocky Racoon ventures out tonight - there’s an applesauce with his name on it.

My feet are cold and life is good. Back to Medicine for the Earth.

(Middle of the night) Rocky Racoon has friends. The 3 are back.. I peeped out to check on the canoe and caught them red-handed. The one Cliff-bar is history as they found the box I had that and the chocolate bar in. At least the chocolate bar is safein the tent. When I looked again, they were trying to get to my straw hat which has weathered the wind storm under a milk crate. I have it now in the tent... (I have had this hat for a very long time)

Dawn - Thursday

The wind is do-able. Will try to get going today. Maybe camp with the truck tonight...

(I got everything ready to load into the canoe should the weather seem favorable. Then as the sun rose higher, it seemed that I might be able to get out of there, so I head out, paddling back along the edge of the lake. I was not into the whote caps yet, but after a while, the wind picked up, and it became too dangerous to continue in the canoe. At one point, as I rounded an outcrop, the wind caught the canoe and blew it into the rocky shore line. the waves crashed against the canoe, swamping it tot hepoint where I had to get out of the canoe and walk it along the rocks onto a sandy shore. I waded in thigh-high water to get the canoe safely out of the waves. I set up my folding chair in a small grove of tamarisk trees near the shore, thinking htat I would leave everything ready for another attempt at paddling out, if the wind subsided a little.)

I got a little ways, but the wind kicked back in and I could not paddle hard enough. I was into the wind and finally beached. In the process, my feet and legs got soaked. Boots too. I found a little space in the salt cedars that breaks the wind a little. Dried my feet - dry socks. They are cold though. The white caps on the lake just won’t give up.

Nature is giving me a hard time this time out. But going "out into nature" is not always the peace and calm of a gentle fall day or two. Sometimes it is about keeping your feet warm and dry. Maybe that is a lesson I need to learn - how to keep my feet warm no matter what life is dishing out to me.

I realized last night how much I was pre-occupied. I was worried about the truck being parked where it was - the canoe, the racoon, Sister Marcia's trip to Ohio..

The wind is very strong. My hands are also cold. Will try to warm up a bit.

I think it is midday - got the tent pitched again - it is again like pitching a sail. Got the canoe to higher ground. The lake sounds like the ocean. I’m moving in for the day. Will try cooking some food. It will be the first hot food I have had since this all started, but I need to have something hot inside me now. (I have a standing rule to NEVER have an open flame inside a nylon tent. I decided to forego this rule in favor of having a hot meal and took every precaution imaginable to prevent burning the tent up....)

This undoubtedly is the hardest trek into nature I have ever done. What can compare? La Verna? At least I am in the tent. Will try cooking something in a few. In the past 3 days I have had 1 can of minestrone, some wheat thins, and some apple sauce. Oh..and half the chocolate bar.

The sun is warming the tent so that feels good. My sleeping mat got wet so it is drying in the wind. That shouldn’t take too long. (I put the 5-gallon water container on it outside to keep it from blowing away.)

I had a hunch it was going to be trying. And I guess I’m not surprised. It would have been nice to have some "quiet days by the lake", but this is what nature has given to me. and. My feet have feeling again.

Wind will have its way again today. I am completely at its mercy. My hope is that it will calm enough this evening to let me get back to the truck, but I realize it is not up to me to decide that. If it were not for this tent, I would be completely miserable. As it is, I feel done in by it all. But in the midst of that feeling, I know in my heart of hearts that it will be ok. Whatever "it" happens to be.

(As I finished this last entry, I heard)

Write what I will give you.

(So I wrote..)

"See how the waves move - as you watch them, they take on a life of their own. Each individually making its way to the shore - no two alike, infinite variety - or so it seems. Look again -vast - part of the whole of what water is. There is no difference, although you would see it so.
See beyond the wave to the water, and beyond that water to the all. That is your gift and the lesson you must learn for yourself. You once had eyes to see the waves. I have given you eyes to see beyond that - to see and to experience what is the all. Look again at the wave - now look beyond the water-part and see how the wind carresses the wave. The water. How the lake bottom determines how the wave-water will interact with it. How the sun’s rays affect the currents of wind -how all of creation works to support that one wave-event.
That is how you are to see now ."

I cried after I heard that teaching - my heart wants to embrace it all - every bit of it.
I want to see that way. Sometimes I think I do - but it seems I fall short and I don’t want to fall short. I want to merge with it all. Not just merge with water, or fire, or wind, or earth. But merge with the All.

What is hard to deal with is that nagging notion that I am merged with the All. I don’t know what to do with it. I don’t know what to do.

"...then just simply be."

(After this, I went outside in the wind storm for a while. I can't describe what or how I saw, but I can say truthfully that I did see - beyond sight - I saw - the whole - the All. Everything was connected. The wave that I looked at became immense and like a tremendous and beautiful arc across the whole of the lake. The water itself blended into the rocks and sky and mountains int he distance. there was no separation but one mighty and amazing moment in time. Earth in her entirety, and yet beyond the limits of earth's physical form. I will never forget the experience of it.)

I stood by the shore and saw before me the great expanse of the All - and the waves - no more individual events upon the rocks. But a symphony of movement - great arc upon the water and beneath/above/beyond the rocks - formed and forming for eons, encouraging water to go this way and the air - dancing spirit upon the arc of wave forms. And the watchful mountains knowing that one day, they too would return to the great water. All of creations plays this dance. The furthest star knows of my watching, and I know of the star's awareness. Peace reigns -
And the wind is beginning to calm.

(After that experience, the wind calmed a great deal. I packed the canoe and tried to get out again. At one outcrop, the waves were too much for the canoe and I could not go any further. I ended up in a cove that was exposed to the north driving wind, but could not get out so beached the canoe, and set up the tent - realizing that I would be here for the remainder of the day. I also realized that I was very lucky to still have a tent to find shelter in, as this last attempt on the lake was the most precarious I had ever experienced in the canoe.)

Chicken stew and mandarine oranges for lunch. If I do end up staying one more night I’m afraid Rocky Racoon and friends will not be having dinner on me - they ate all the stuff not canned. Only thing left is some calm chowder and more manarine oranges. They’re probably still stuffed from last night’s feast.

I want to get going - at least back to the truck. Will check the lake and make a decision. The wind is still gusting, but I think I will get back. There are a lot of white caps in the main part. I’ll wait a bit. Wait too long, and I may miss my opportunity.

No go. Still pretty rough. Maybe later. It’s chilly too. A lot cooler than it was a few days ago. I don’t want to "settle in" too much because if I can get out today, that would be my preference.
I like writiing - it has been a while since I wrote my thoughts down - journaling never was my forte, but I find that it slows me down a bit, a good thing.

There is a difference between actualy putting pen to paper versus typing into a computer. One - the computer is faster, but there is no connection to the sound of a thought and actually "drawing" (writing) it on a piece of paper. I like using the computer, but there is something about this that I like a lot also.

I am in the tent - and the flap is closed so I can stay warm. I hear the water hitting against the shore but don’t see it. It’s a nice sound - fluctuates in many ways. There is an outcrop of rocks to the left, and the sound in more pronounced. In front of me, it is a gentler sound. And to the right but not far, the sound is somewhere between the other 2. The waves travel toward me along the rocks, so it is more progressive-sounding.

Everytime I think about trying to get back to the truck, the wind kicks up a bit - reminding me to wait.

I have noticed that we never really "wait" - we just suspend expectation in the now. Waiting implies stopping something at one point and picking it up again at another point. But if we truly are in the eternal "now", there are no points. Waiting creates desire for something that is not in the present and so is not created. It is an empty quest. Patience and waiting are in the same envelope.

I have no idea what time it is... I am thankful though that the wind is not as strong as it was earlier .

3 things I’d like right now. Hot cup of tea, Bath or shower, warm shoes. Dry shoes (replaces the tea). I could make tea, but I am feeling lazy - besides the tent is warmer than outside... And the tea and stove are outside......

I want the lake to be calmer so I can go home
I want the lake to be calmer so I can go home
I want the lake to be calmer so I can go home
I want the lake to be calmer so I can go home.

This will be my last night on the lake. I started out from the 2nd place and made it almost around the hill. The wind was too strong and I could not keep the direction. I literally blew into a cove. Good place to camp though. Got the tent up AGAIN. As I started to thread the poles, the wind gusted greatly. I burst out "Why is it everytime I go to set up this damn tent, you have to blow!?" I guess I didn’t get to transmute that outburst into love and light - sorry, Sandy...

It seemed everytime I thought about getting back to the truck, the wind would blow even harder. So I caved in, and now am settled into the tent once more. There is learning to do.

I really need to wash my hair. But I have simply been too cold.

Come first light, if the weather permits, I will get back in the morning. Will wash hair and me before driving out.

It has been a very hard few days - but it was really what I apparently needed. I didn’t swamp the canoe - although I came pretty close a few times. Rocky and Friends made off with all the tea so my cup of tea for the evening is out. There is nothing else for them to get into.

I am tired, but content.

Friday dawn

Wind is fierce. I was awake most of the night doing lots of mind-chatter. Strategies for getting out of here.
1. Hike back to the truck over the hills - contacting Park Service
2. Wait it out - I have food, water - can stay if need be. If I do, I need to get a hold of Barbara and let her know. (My friend in Kingman who was expecting me back on Friday) The cell phone battery is very low. I think I would have bars at the top of the hill behind me.
3, Call Park Service and tell them where I am - cell phone may not last.
4. Call Barbara and ask her to call Park Service.
I like option 1.. The truck is not that far as the crow flies. It is just a matter of negotiating the hills and finding a way back. Before I do anything though, I’m going to clean up.

I don’t like the idea of possibly losing my gear, but it might come to that.
I want to set the intention that all will be well, I won’t lose anything, but what will be will be. It’s ok.

The interesting thing is that I am not all that far from the marina across the lake. (Maybe a mile at most) Feels like I am a hundred miles from the nearest anything. But it is really not that far as the crow flies.

The lake has a way of creating distance - especially when I am probably the only one out on it, and the waves, wind are so strong. I have a good shelter, food, water, can be warm. Life is good, despite the hardship and unknowing about what the day will bring. Major lesson - stay centered - trust and rely upon what is at hand, and take the next moment as it comes. Amen.
If I do end up hiking out to the truck, I want to bring these notes with me so I can have memory of this amazing time. This, I want to share.

I just looked at the pictures I took - there are orbs all over the place. I am blessed. There was a whole group of them by the canoe this morning and one by the tent in all of the shots. Amazing. None by the food box, hince Rocky and Company

I was never alone...

_______________

We hear many times the teaching to remain centered. What I learned this past week, among other things, was that we do have the capacity to connect with the Center - not just "our" center, but the One Center, if that makes any sense. I found that when I connected there, I was able to walk through whatever was there for me to walk through. I used my abilities and skills, for sure - possibly realizing some I had not realized I had. But the key was that connection to the Center - the frequency of Earth if you will. Then it flowed. There were times when I was in grave danger - in the canoe, with onset of hypothermia - but in those times, I connected, and was able to surf the waves of the situation. It was not an easy surf. But the more I let go of my own expectations of how it was supposed to run, the more I was able to experience a more universal flow of energy that sustained me.

I am still recovering, I think. I have moments when I feel like I need to lie down and get warm metaphorically. I don't doubt that a little soul loss is involved and I will be asking one of my colleagues to help me with that. I sense that when I see the wind in the trees.

But we are earth. Earth creating herself as human. And we have the capacity to experience the wholeness of earth and beyond. It is a beautiful thing. The teachings are true. We CAN surf the coming waves of earth's changing. The frequencies are shifting. We can also shift to know on every level those frequencies.

And I am so grateful for the teachings I have participated in this past week or so.

By the Book

2006-11-06T07:40:00.000-07:00

Opposition seems to be a strategy of the old paradigm; the recurrent themes of duality and power-over. And when it is met with something new - a "both-and" metaphor, it has no clue what to do with it, except regress back to what is comfortable. It is very clear that the process of trying to hold that one is right while the other is wrong simply does not work anymore.

The more we adhere to the concept of "by the book", the more we create the very demise we are trying to avoid. It is, as D. O-Murchu wrote, time to put the book down and truly engage in life with all its variations and turns.

Those who do so, or at the least, have that desire, watch your back... But don't be afraid of that which would have you cease the awakening that is happening.

Thought for today...

2006-10-19T11:41:00.000-07:00

"We do not transform the darkness by dismissing or trying to overcome it, but by engaging with it in all its complexities."

Diarmuid O'Murchu - Quantum Theology

A New Thing...

2006-10-17T14:57:00.000-07:00

I've added a blog to the Spirit Drum site to jot down thoughts and impressions here and there. My hope is that it is helpful for folks who read it. Please feel welcome to also comment and dialog. Peace you your spirit.

S. Karen